Updated: Nov 10, 2021
According to WHO (2021)
Depression is a common mental disorder.
Globally, more than 264 million people of all ages suffer from depression.
Depression is a leading cause of disability worldwide and is a major contributor to the overall global burden of disease.
More women are affected by depression than men.
Depression can lead to suicide.
There are effective psychological and pharmacological treatments for moderate and severe depression.
According to Medical News Today, cases of depression had tripled over the course of the pandemic.
In this writing, I share my reflection on depression which is based on my personal experience and knowledge about depression, what I have observed within myself and my work.
Say THANK YOU to your DEPRESSION!
because…your brain/organism/body is very clever and wants to protect you.
The brain always finds the best solution to preserve life so that the organism can survive …that is what all is about …so depression keeps the organism alive - according to the brain.
It is our primitive instinct… to survive (that is biology and law nature)
Your depression protects you from unbearable pain and shuts down the system/organism because it is too much…too painful and it would ‘break your heart’… literally…. the organism experience state of lethargy and ‘HORMON PAT’ in brain.
Here, I play with English wording
Depressed - Pressed …press the brake and shut down the system organism.
Aggression - Auto aggression - Suppression… shut down the system/organism … state of lethargy ....separation … because it is too much…. to be around…
In this case... shutting the system/organism down, the energy of depression comes/takes over then isolation…withdraw to the inner world which is very dark where there is sorrow, sadness, helplessness, hopelessness, powerlessness... energy very flat - no energy… no vision... no will to live...
Auto aggression - Suppression - not being able to mark boundaries, to express as an adult in a mature way as a result of prolonged suppression of feelings which you were not able to express as a child.
What have happened to those feelings? Where have all those feelings gone?
They must have gone somewhere.
How do they manifest in the body?
Another English expression
‘Holding your own sh * t’,
‘Sorting out your sh * t’
There, where all it goes:
IBS, pails… problems with the intestine.
There is where you hold your unprocessed feelings/ not expressing, not letting go… unprocessed ...‘sh * t’ and probably not only/even yours but also other people e.g. shame - very complex emotion…shame of others, parents, grandparents, unprocessed traumas…. personal and generational, taking other people feelings…
Not being able to separate what is your ‘sh * t’ what is another person ’sh * t’…
not standing up for yourself, not being able to say clearly what you feel, what you want, what you do not want…
This is mine and that is yours. What is yours I leave with you what is mine I take/ keep with me.
Questions for reflection:
Hopelessness, Loss and Guilt are often in depression’s team.
What was taken from me?
What have I lost?
…it is of course about significant events in our life when we lost loved ones, job, house but also it is about the loss of dignity, respect, hobby, passion... idea of relationship/ job/ideal family/ideal childhood... ideal father, mother... life what you thought you would have.
Where am I blaming myself?
Am I feeling guilty about something here?
Take care of yourself by stoping /pausing and checking in with yourself
Write it down:
Your needs/ necessities
What are the main frustrations in your life?
Our brain can not accept frustration,therefore needs to come with a solution:
To avoid frustration and reduce/ increase desire.
If I have a desire which can not be accomplished/satisfied = frustration
Solution: So better not have any desire = I am ‘dead’
Not being able to identify your own desire/needs = beginning of frustration
It is very important to:
name a desires/ needs because at this moment YOU HONOUR YOURSELF - it means you VALIDATE YOURSELF and what you feel and desire.
It does not mean that you have to accomplish/ act on it.
You give voice to it, You acknowledge it and yourself and this is the way how we help the brain to avoid frustration.
Write it down:
What do I feel/ do I have to say about:
my family: partner, children etc.
my work colleagues/ my boss
What/ who sucks in my life?
Life is not about surviving, we all need to thrive - we need self-expression….for our well being.
If you experience depression and it is difficult to be with it on your own, act and reach out for professional help.
Hope you find it useful.