Updated: Nov 16, 2021
‘When we are closely related to someone/ bond with someone, we might have difficulties with recognising each other boundaries, our personal spaces.
We might not able to separate what belongs to us and what belongs to another person, therefore when that person enters our energetic space ‘enter into our orbit sphere’ we might find ourselves ‘orbiting around them’ leaving our spaces, our things, our lives…abandoning ourselves.
Usually is someone who we've always loved…we love so strongly, there is a very strong bond.
We feel that we want to give this person everything, we want to take care of this person and we want to make everything easy for this person…this could be our partners, parents, children…
This kind of manipulation forces us to sacrifice ourselves…and it makes another person weaker.
We become fake/useless helpers - we help, we help, we help ... however it does not make any difference in anyone life - no one is growing, the relationship is not growing, nothing is changing.
If we are related to our parents in this way, it may be that we need to run away from them no matter how much we love them.
Where is too much bonding, there is sacrifice, and that doesn't help anyone.
Only by living our own lives, we can help those around us’ Ch. Spezzano
If you ever feel like you want to rescue someone… there is always a child within who wants to rescue...explain…. usually a ‘dysfunctional parent’ because of fear… abandonment or rejection…or loneliness.
That person, sibling, child, partner has got a problem because this is that person problem…this problem/challenge comes to that person, not to you …because a different problem comes to you.
I have got this problem and it's mine, not another person...they have got theirs. My solution or idea for the problem is mine is working for me, it does not mean it will work for another person.
Life wants us to face problems/challenges that's why problems/challenges come our way… they are part of life - this is what we get in the package of being a human.
Responsibility comes from two words ‘response ability’ is about standing up 'to response' as adults. When we do not take responsibility, we run away from the responsibility...we ran from the response/responding … We act from a position of the child - innocent …we want to be innocent and that is the privilege of the child who has got partners meet its expectations, the child wants things 'right here and now' - and child is right in it…that is child position…not adult.
Facing and dealing with our challenges and problem make us stronger, this is how the life force within keeps/is alive… not doing this, usually manifests in our body.
Our partner, sibling, child, the parent is not our project, our life is our project …which by the way often is much bigger than our plans.
Thank you for visiting and reading.